Cuddle Party Time! What’d you think I was saying?

The economy can’t be that bad when I see a story about how cuddle parties are becoming popular. What does that have to do with the economy? If you want to become a cuddle party facilitator it’ll cost you $500 for a session in basic skills and another grand for 10 teleconference session on how to hold a cuddle party effectively. On top of that, you have to pay $200 a  year to stay professionally affiliated with the main cuddle party website.

So some ass is paying $1700 to train in something and put on something as easy as having people lay around and hold each other, that just means they’re stupid right?

No, see, the reason people are willing to pay that much to become an affiliate cuddle host is because people will pay up to $40 bucks to get together and cuddle for a while. That’s only because it’s not hugely popular, but since it’s growing in popularity, economics will kick in and demand will rise which will raise the price people will pay for a cuddle party.

Okay, so it’s “cuddling” right? I mean, the get all touchy and…? They want to stress that it’s cuddling only. “We take sex off the table.” Okay, well, if sex is out, then this makes no sense to me.

People are paying to do something that is free. Unlike paying for sex, someone who barely likes you will hug you for nothing. That makes it not only cheap but cheapened.

I get it, we all need a hug once in a while, but if you have to pay to get it from strangers you need that money for therapy.

Last Friday, a couple guys from The  EDGE’s Jersey school competed in the cage at the WKU Warrior Challenge. Both guys school dominated their fights. The Pennsylvania EDGE was also supposed to be represented, but the opponent didn’t show up and the fight got scrapped from the card. I don’t doubt we would have gone 3-0 had that not been the case.

Congratulations to Justin Rios and Mark Cugliari on their wins; it’s always cool when people you train with win.

So, this is the end of the coconut oil experiment. Seeing as I wrote about it earlier, I should probably have some sort of conclusion. I really don’t have much to say that I haven’t already. I still notice elevated energy levels that are most apparent after a hard workout.

I also experienced a 3 pound weight gain (which again, I was trying to do) but I’m also leaner than I was when I started. Exactly by how much I’m not sure seeing as I don’t have a hydrostatic weighing station in my home. Ha ha, but who does?

I’ll continue to supplement my diet with it, but with less rigidity than I have been doing.

It seemed a bit weird to me to supplement oil into my diet. I mean, I’ve heard of the benefits of Omega 3’s and because it’s popular, it’s easy to accept. Coconut oil on the other hand is a saturated fat and it’s a far less used oil than most, so that had something to do with the oddity of it.

It wasn’t always so.

Coconut oil used to be very popular for cooking because it was cheap, easy to handle, and has a good taste. It was especially widely used in making popcorn. Then around the late 1950’s the belief that saturated fats were bad for your heart took hold.

Then a group called Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) showed up and made it their duty to pressure companies to stop selling us food we wanted cooked how we liked it because we all need someone to cradle us and tell us what to do. Due to the pressure from all the noise CSPI was making, companies switched from saturated fats, including coconut and palm oils to CSPI approved hydrogenated oils (you know, the trans fats that everyone’s paranoid about now).

McDonald’s fries used to be cooked in beef fat for God’s sake! That’s deliciousness times 10. I want a time machine.

By the way, if you’re going to form a special interest group, please note how brilliant the name of CSPI is. “Center” makes it sound very official and very authoritative. Next, they’ve got “Science” in their title, so they must be legit in their pursuit of facts and not at all slanted towards an agenda, like say promoting a vegetarian diet. Finally, “Public Interest” gives us that gooey feeling that it’s about caring for us, and we all want someone there for us.

This tactic also works when naming a bill that you want to become law. If you want to make it legal to punch old lady’s in the face, just name it the “Save the Fluffy Bunnies Act”.

A little more on the whole Perez Hilton vs. Will.I.Am thing. Perez has learned a valuable lesson in cause and effect. He’s issued an apology for his decision to not walk away.

He’s been going on and on about how violence is never the answer. A lot of people say that, usually it’s the person getting their ass kicked. For the guy punching you, violence definitely seems like a good option. That’s why he chose it. Apparently it worked too, because Perez now knows to walk away.

One of the things that Perez was whining about is the number of people who said he deserved to get punched and it was Karma paying him a visit; we’re blaming the victim here. He seemed to think that he shouldn’t have been punched and he may be right, but that doesn’t mean he was completely innocent.

Sometimes we should lay some responsibility on the victim. As my friend Steve Sabo likes to say, “If I tape a $100 bill on my forehead and go walking thru the ghetto, should I be surprised if someone robs me?” Of course the answer is “no”. That doesn’t excuse the robbery, but you should know better than to do that. You’d be putting yourself in a situation where the possibility of being harmed increases.

The same is true of calling an already angry man a “faggot”. You’re basically daring him to punch you. Don’t be surprised when he takes you up on it.

Congratulations Perez for learning something.

WWTDD is still the better site.

This is a completely weird story on so many levels.

Oklahoma City woman trades sex for case of chips.

To summarize the story, a guy is looking for sex with a prostitute. He doesn’t have any money, so he gets the brilliant idea to offer her a $30 box of Frito-Lay chips. I can’t tell if I think the guy is a moron or a genius because, well, our hero turns out to be luck. This particular prostitute agreed to the deal. She must have had a load of french onion but nothing to dip in it.

If I were a woman, even prostitute, I’d be angry that this woman is devaluing your services. Is that what it’s worth now, a box of Cheetos? You want dinner and a movie? Come on, I can get the same thing for a couple of snack bags.

Frito-Lay has to jump on this. It’s brilliant marketing because it’s been proven, Frito-Lays chips are so good, you can trade them for sex. There’s probably a lot they can do with their Doritos Late Night Last Call Jalapeno Popper chips. The name sounds dirty so why not filth up the commercial a bit.

The woman was arrested, but I don’t quite get it. I guess I can understand trading cash for sex being illegal, but snacks? If you’re not allowed to use food as a bartering tool, then dating would have to be illegal.

People are confusing and double standards are abound. Today is a day that the news makes me smile.

Perez Hilton says he was punched by Black Eyed Peas’ manager!

Oh, no, no, these are tears of joy that I’m wiping away.

For those of you fortunate enough to not know who Perez Hilton is, he’s a celebrity gossip blogger who is terrible. He confuses childish with funny and loves to draw white droplets from celebrities mouths like he’s an 8 year old graffitiing in a public bathroom. If you want celebrity gossip, WWTDD is the best site.

He’s also the guy who could be blamed for the world having to listen to Carrie Prejean’s views on gay marriage because he asked her the question, most likely knowing her Christian background and knowing her answer would be what it was. Sorry, douche, she’s the big winner on that one.

In other words, he’s not very liked.

Apparently the Black Eyed Peas aren’t fans of his either because band members Fergie and will.i.am (I’m copy & pasting his name because I refuse to type that) got into an argument with Perez that ended in Hilton being punched by will.i.am.

From his Twitter:

I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please

I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.

Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel.

Dumbass, your cellphone makes calls, it’s not just a tweeting device.

When commenting on what happened, Perez said:

“He was like ‘You need to respect me.’ He was in my face. He was obviously trying to intimidate me and scare me,” Hilton said. “I was like ‘I don’t need to respect you. I don’t respect you and I did say this, and I knew that it would be the worst thing I could possibly say to him because he was acting the way he was. I said ‘You know what, I don’t respect you and you’re gay and stop being such a faggot.’”

Hmm….let me cut out the most interesting parts for ease of my next point. Ahem…

“I knew that it would be the worst thing I could possibly say to him…I said ‘… you’re gay and stop being such a faggot.’”

So, calling him “gay” and “faggot” was the worst thing he could say? First, I’m thinking there’s a N-uclear bomb that he could have dropped, but he didn’t. Instead he chose “gay” and “faggot”. Why is that the worst thing? If you’re gay, wouldn’t you be furious if a straight man had said calling will.i.am that was the worst thing?

Perhaps Hilton should spend some time in sensitivity training in order to learn how words like that are demeaning to gay people.

Back to reality, I am sick of this double standard when it comes to language. Thanks to Hilton, I think it is case closed on “gay” and “faggot” being off limits to straight people. If ANYONE gets in trouble for saying it, you should use this incident as your example of someone who’s caused so much trouble in the interest of gay rights freely admits to not only using it, but using it to in the way he did.

Also, if you’re into one of those “who would win in a fight” games, Gay does not beat Angry Black Man.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s about a dozen Black Eyed Peas albums I feel the need to buy.

Before you go, “UGH, I don’t care about these UFC posts,” let me just encourage you to check out Joe Rogan’s stand-up special that immediately follows The Ultimate Fighter Finale tonight. Joe’s comedy is amazingly smart and it’s fun to watch the guy work. I’m probably just as excited, if not more to see his special than I am to see the fights. Plus, it’s all free on Spike!

Last event, I got my ass handed to me. Steve was on fire and I stunk. That’s the recap of the last UFC. A couple of my pics were victims of bad decisions, but just as the have losses on their records, I must do the same.

Steve: 62 - 32 (15 perfect picks)

Josh: 55 - 39 (15 perfect picks)

Now on to the next event. This is the conclusion to this season’s Ultimate Fighter which has been set up as USA vs. UK. I liked the UK team and have been impressed with them. 3 Brits made it to the finals while only one American did.

This looks to be a great night of fights.

Diego Sanchez Vs. Clay Guida

Josh: Diego is a nightmare to deal with. As much as I want to see Clay win this one, Sanchez is sharper in just about every area with the exception of wrestling. I think Sanchez wins this with a 3^rd round submission.

Steve: Diego, by decision. I love Clay, he is a bad ass who never quits.  But I think Diego is just THAT much better at everything… but I think it will be a WAR!

DaMarques Johnson Vs. James Wilks

Steve: Johnson, by decision. I could go either way on this one, I have no idea.

Josh: I like Wilks by decision. I liked his personality more and they’re both tough fighters, so I’m being superficial.

Chris Lytle Vs. Kevin Burns

Josh: Chris Lytle by KO in the 3^rd. Kevin Burns is good, but I don’t think he can handle the pressure that Lytle will put on.

Steve: Lytle, 2^nd KO. Kevin Burns can’t even make a fist with one of his hands.  Lytle can outbox just about anyone.  I say he turns up the heat in round two and puts him away.

Ross Pearson Vs. Andre Winner

Steve: Winner, 2^nd KO. Pearson is an all around good fighter, but not great all the way around.  I think Winner is pretty solid.  Plus, how could a guy named Winner lose?

Josh: Ross by Decision. No real reason, I think they’re both good fighters, but I need to take a few chances.

Joe Stevenson Vs. Nate Diaz

Josh: Nate Diaz has won fights because he can take a beating and keep going. Typically his opponents have tired and made a mistake. Joe Stevenson isn’t the type of guy who’s going to gas out and I see him handling Nate in a similar fashion to Clay Guida, only with better stand-up. Joe Stevenson by decision.

Steve: Stevenson, decision.  Nate is probably a better fighter, and he has a serious reach advantage.  Joe Daddy, however, lost two in a row and won’t want to make it three… plus, it is virtually impossible to submit this guy, and that is Nate’s forte.

Melvin Guillard Vs. Gleison Tibau

Steve: Guillard, 2^nd submission. He hasn’t fought in nearly a year, and he isn’t going to screw up his return.

Josh: Tibau by submission in the 2^nd. When you look at Gleison’s record, he’s fought tougher guys than Guillard has.

Brad Blackburn Vs. Edgar Garcia

Josh: Look at Steve’s answer. He makes a damned good case, I’m going with that. Garcia by KO in the 1^st.

Steve: Garcia, 1^st KO. Undefeated Garcia is considered one of the people to watch for in MMA… he is undefeated, and destroys most people in the first round.  I expect more of the same.

Mike Ciesnolevicz Vs. Tomasz Drwal

Steve: Drwal, 1^st KO. Why not?

Josh: I’ve got to go with the guy from PA, Mike Ciesnolevicz in with a 1^st round submission.

Nick Osipczak Vs. Frank Lester

Josh: I think Osipczak is the smarter fighter and will win by 2^nd round submission.

Steve: Lester, decision. This guy has more heart than teeth.  I think that puts him in the win column.

Jason Dent Vs. Cameron Dollar

Steve: Dent, 1^st KO. Dent will have his head together for this one, and he has made it to the big leagues.  He is ready to impress.

Josh: I think Steve is just hoping Dollar gets beat. I’m picking Dollar by 3^rd round submission.

A Japanese study has shown that people who are a little overweight live longer than skinny people. That’s something that other studies have shown, but the surprise comes in the fact that it’s a whopping six to seven year difference.

“Main reasons for the shorter lifespans of skinny people were believed to include their heightened vulnerability to diseases such as pneumonia and the fragility of their blood vessels, he said.”

Or maybe it’s because they’re too weak to lift a glass of water so they can take their pills.

Before we start ordering pizzas and cookie dough sandwiches in the interest of longevity, I do have a couple of ideas as to why this study might show what it does. Then we can have pizza and cookie dough sandwiches (seriously, I wish I didn’t know these things existed).

They’re using BMI to gauge who’s chubby and who’s skinny. I feel bad for my son because at some point he’s going to say, “Like my Dad always said,  BMI is a terrible way to gauge fitness.” Sorry son, I’ll try to start saying cooler things.

The reason BMI stinks is because it doesn’t take into account muscle mass, bone density, or any other factors that might contribute to a higher weight to height ratio. A very fit individual can be labeled obese using BMI and an over fat but under muscled person can be labeled normal or thin. I’m not saying that all the chubbys were really muscular people who were just misclassified, but we don’t know how much more lean body mass separated the groups.

Some studies have shown that lean body tissue is an important indicator of life span and once you’ve lost 40 - 60 percent of your lean mass, you’re basically done. If that’s true, and you start with more, you have a better chance at longer survival. Perhaps the chubby people started with more lean tissue and that’s what extended their lives.

And now, The Second Part of this Two Part Notion, which is good because if I had any more parts, I couldn’t call it a two parter.

If we look at excess fat accumulation as a risk factor or cause of disease, this study might confuse people. If on the other hand, we look at excess fat accumulation as a symptom of a problem, it could make some sense.

Fat is a symptom of something known as Metabolic Syndrome. Metabolic Syndrome has been linked to diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. If you are overweight, you have a clear sign that you are at risk and might make changes such as exercise or changing your eating habits and make an impact on Metabolic Syndrome.

If you are one of those naturally thin people (bastards!), you appear to be in good health, but you can still suffer from Metabolic Syndrome. You’re like a lung cancer patient who isn’t coughing up blood so you don’t think anything is wrong.

Chances are good that I am completely wrong and the real answer is the heavy people are eating the thin. Still, I think I could be on to something.

Hey, Josh, you hate science right?

No, I actually like science. I hate how it’s used to push agendas, political opinions, and slam people with differing opinions. A lot of this falls on the reporting of science. Here’s an example from this week:

Same-Sex Behavior Found in Nearly All Animals

Now, I will say up front that I think homosexuality in humans is a genetic trait. I’ve never had a moment where I had to decide to be straight. I think dry heaving at the idea of man ass is enough to convince me that I’m not geared towards homosexuality and for another man to enjoy it has to be more than just a choice.

Still, there is a lot of argument about homosexuality and gay rights. So what better way to illustrate to people who disagree how natural it is than show the behavior exists all throughout the animal kingdom?

The problem is, these examples plain suck.

Female-female pairs of the Laysan Albatross cooperatively build nests and rear young when males are scarce. They have not seen the females try to copulate with each other yet, however. So, basically they just live together? I had a roommate when I was in college, would that have been classified as “same sex behavior”? When I was growing up, my brother and I had to share a room, so get out the notebooks scientists.

Male fruit flies sometimes court other male flies (the joke is too obvious, so I won’t), but this behavior is due to a missing gene that gives the flies the ability to distinguish between sexes. If they think it’s female, it doesn’t count. Take the inability to tell and couple it with the incredibly short lifespan of the fruit fly and these guys are in quite a pickle. Imagine being a young man with bad vision and only having a few days to actually mate before you drop dead. If I stick you in a room full of women and trannies, what are the odds you’re going to try to get it on with a tranny?

Another one cited by many is the Bonobo. The females actually do have what we’d call sex with each other. Hot right? So isn’t that an example of homosexuality in the animal world, Mr. Thmarty Pant-th? Well not really because the same female will have sex pretty much any Bonobo. The female bonobo is some what of a slutty ape. She, like some human females, uses sex as a tool for bonding, calming, and power. Using sex as a tool and them being a female dominant culture, it would make sense that they females would throw in some scissor action. So, no, I’d consider it less homosexual behavior and, more like Anne Heche, having sex with whoever helps.

Gray whales “slip-and-slide orgies”, as many as five males roll around, splashing water, and rubbing their bellies against each other so that their genitals are touching. So, that’s sex then? Maybe it’s something else, like whale wrestling or something. I know, I know, if it were just wrestling, they’d put on some pants, but they’re whales. They don’t have pants!

Now, there’s tons more examples. Some of them I would consider to be legitimate cases of gay animals, but those aren’t funny. The biggest difference between human homosexuality and animal homosexuality is that a majority of the animals that have same sex relationships also mate heterosexually. They don’t get skeeved by female parts. If anything, it’s an example of bisexuality in the animal kingdom.

It might also mean nothing.

I had a dog once that would occasionally hump a teddy bear. Does that mean my dog had a plush fetish? No, he was just a dumb horny dog that would take whatever he could get.

David Letterman explains himself to critics regarding the Palin jokes. Dave clearly says that the daughter jokes were intended to be about the 18 year old. Now, this means that either I was right about Dave or he reads my blog. At least, I’m pretending because I’m aware that this was shot the day before my post on the topic was published. Either way, I’m patting myself on the back.